Accountability. Procrastination. Lazy. Just saying those words makes me cringe a little.
I was a big abuser of the L word -- lazy. If I didn't finish something on a certain time table, I'd L-word myself. If I followed my desire to take a break and put work aside, I'd L-word myself. If I didn't follow through with a plan, I L-worded myself. It wasn't pretty. Heck, I'm surprised I didn't make a t-shirt with a big, bold L on the front (Scarlet Letter anyone?).
Then I immersed myself in a coaching program that, while wonderful in so many ways, stressed getting things done in a huge way. Actions and consequences. Every week, I'd be urged to create a list of actions I was going to take and consequences if I didn't follow through on said actions. It felt like emotional terrorism. I hated the whole concept (granted, they are coaches and coaches thrive on accountability and achievement), and I L-worded myself constantly.
For such a lazy (see, I just did it again -- more L-wording) person, I seemed to have no trouble working out 5 days/week, practicing yoga 5-6 days/week, maintaining my close friendships, washing my clothes, feeding myself, keeping the two feathered ones that live with me alive, taking excellent care of myself and my health. Interesting. I didn't spend my days wrapped up burrito style on the couch Kindling.
Then someone said the magic phrase to me -- there are no lazy people. There are just people who only do what they value. Lightning bolt moment. The L-word stigma lifted and I realized that I did what was important to me. I didn't need external motivation to practice yoga or meditate or work out or do all sorts of self-care (massage, acupuncture, home spa treatments) because I they were in line with my values. When something wasn't aligned, I needed a lot of external motivation, which often resulted in P-wording. If I had made that t-shirt, I would have had a Hulk moment and ripped it right from my body. No more L-word for me.
Since I like to dive deeper under the surface of things, I also realized that for me it's about deciding and commitment. Often I'll say I want something but I don't really commit to the desire. I waver. I never decide unequivocally that I will do it. Unless I put a firm stake in the ground in my mind, unless I stand for what I want or what means something to me, I waver. Enter all of those nasty little words the beginning of the post.
So when a client comes to me wanting to practice yoga daily or meditate regularly, I don't make him/her schedule it and hold them accountable (there are those consequences again...somewhere coaches everywhere are smiling and fist pumping). Instead I do what any self-respecting yoga teacher would do -- I give them a Savasana. Parents give time-outs. I give Savasanas. I encourage the person to sit quietly and feel into what he/she wants, values, needs. Bullying someone into creating a habit rarely works, or if it does, certainly not for the long run. I haven't been oil pulling each morning for the past few years because I put it in my calendar or forced myself to do it (nor did I try the reward strategy by offering my mouse self cheese for every time I pulled). Oil pulling felt right to me. It aligns with my values (self care is on the top 10 list).
I took this procrastination class once. It was wonderful and offered a variety of tips and tricks for eradicating the dreaded P-word. I even tried a bunch of them. They were...fine. I felt like some strict parent trying to force their kid to do something, except I was the parent and the kid. It wasn't fun and it sure as heck didn't feel good. And, ultimately, I didn't stick with any of those nifty tips and tricks. I didn't need to fool myself or force myself -- I needed to take some time and listen to myself. What was at the heart of the hesitation? What would happen if I just felt the resistance without trying to get rid of it? How about checking in with myself before trying to do anything on my to-do list?
Right now I am P-wording...BIG TIME. If there was a P-word Olympics, I'd have the gold. If there was a hall of fame for P-wording, I'd be inducted. Am I tempted to L-word? Hell, yes, I am. Instead, I'm taking a Savasana. All sorts of interesting things have come up. I've realized that I'm scared, that I think that doing this thing is going to bring about all sorts of suffering for me, that it won't fit into the vision that I have for myself. Ahhhhhh...pushing all that down will take the wind out of anyone's sales. It's not that I need a planner and some consequences. I need a Savasana. I need to sit with the feelings and then get back in touch with my desire. I need to spark the fire and fan the flames.
I could spout off tips to help you get things done and/or get to your yoga mat or meditation cushion every day but I'm not going to do that. I'm going to take the Ahimsa path (screw you, consequences!) and invite you to take a Savasana. It's the kinder (no L-wording, please), gentler, more effective thing to do, in my opinion. And, of course, if you still want to take the mental approach, there are plenty of books, timers, planners, productivity methods out there to help you with that. I've used some of them myself and they've been effective...to a point. Savasana always wins.
If you've been P-wording or L-wording in terms of your yoga practice, here are a few things that might help. Think hair of the dog -- I'm going to help you fight yoga P-wording with yoga:
And when all else fails, remember -- put yourself in Savasana.
Namaste!
A guide to living your yoga from a devoted yogi, yoga teacher, and yoga therapist who believes that yoga=bliss.
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