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It was a sunny summer day in 2003 when I left work and walked to my local Planet Fitness. I was an aspiring muscle builder with big hopes and big dreams, and this gym was cheap. What more could you ask for? It was chest day and I was quite anxious to get back in the gym because they had done some remodelling. I walked in, went over to my bench area and to my horror there was no bench! Wtf? Wheres the bench and the plates and the barbell? I was hurt.
Well maybe they have a flat bench and some dumbbells. Wait, where are the heavy dumbbells?? I quickly tracked down a clerk and expressed my frustration. He explained that they no longer wanted people getting big in the gym. I cancelled my membership that day and never looked back. So as you can imagine, this post today is my personal stab at Planet Fitness, or should I say, Planet Wimpy [FJ: I prefer to call it Planet Fatness myself]. Here are the 7 reasons that place sucks.
1. Lunk Alarm
The thing that sets them apart and the icon of their gym that they are so proud of is the most idiotic idea Ive ever heard of. Whos quiet when they go to the gym? Granted, I hate to hear guys gossiping like some little girls at the bar when Im in the gym, but its the place where a man can be a man. Where you can grunt and make your O Face in public without shame. I personally try to look as mean as possible and stick my tongue out and grunt all I can. Its the sign of a passionate lifter. So why alarm me and threaten to throw me out if Im just being myself? Their philosophy is a place where everyone can be comfortable. Well, Im comfortable grunting.
2. Their Judgment Free Zone
Again, one of their trademarks that makes them stick out like a sore thumb. The whole idea behind the Judgment Free Zone is to cater to women basically [FJ: Actually, more like misinformed women and dimwit weaklings]. There, I said it. Most guys dont care. We go to the gym to judge each other. Everyone is looking around at everyone else thinking yeah, Im bigger than that guy or wow, that guys arms a hugewhat do I have to do to get arms like that or that chick is hot. I personally walk around in compression shirts to look as ripped as possible so I can turn heads. This whole Judgment Free Zone just makes real lifters feel irritated. Its like when you walk in there, you get the feeling youre not wanted here. Like the old Cheers theme I wanna be in a place where I belong. The Judgment Free Zone just isnt it. Its meant to create a relaxing environment, but I cant relax without a heavy dumbbell in my hand and wondering if Im being too loud. I thought this was the gym, not the library.
[FJ: Isnt it also ironic how the Judgement Free Zone judges people who can actually lift some heavy shit and stand strong? Its more like the Judge People Who Are Better Than You Zone. You know who came up with this idea? A panzy who plateaued at the 25lbs Dumbbell]
3. No Trainers
Most gyms have a hefty staff of personal trainers on hand. This is another money-making avenue, but also a big help for people that need that extra push to get in shape. The Planet Fitness next to my house only has two trainers and when I went in to speak with one, they werent in that day. Huh? Im a very motivated guy and I know my way around the gym. But I know everyone isnt in my boat. There are a lot of people that need help and are willing to pay for it.
Im also a savvy marketer, so when theres supply, I will demand. Planet Fitness is leaving tons of money on the table by neglecting a large part of the market. I know theyre flaunting their $10 price tag (Ill get to that in a minute) but like the old saying goes, you get what you pay for.
[FJ: I have a feeling that the real reason they dont have trainers is because any respectable trainer will tell them their gym is retardedly ill-equipped and they wouldnt be caught dead working in a place with a fucking alarm that prevents their clients from doing hard work.]
4. Tanning Rooms
Ok, what is this about? When I saw this, I knew theyd gone totally health spa on me and it was really time to leave. Think about it for a second do you really want to be lifting next to a Snooki from Jersey Shore? Whats that saying about your gymhood? The tanning salon and the weight room should be in two separate buildings altogether. Im having trouble understanding how they go together (maybe cause Im black).
This is a total contradiction to their mantra of cutting the fat. They boast about not having salespeople (just a bunch of teenagers at the front desk who have no clue what theyre doing) and no juice bar (I actually use this from time to time when I need a snack or shake), yet they have tanning rooms (which Ill never use)?? Again, this place is meant for weaklings that have no clue what they are doing.
5. Lack of Free Weights
The first thing you see when you walk in this place is an endless row of cardio equipment. Besides the fact that elliptical machines, treadmills, that weird gazelle looking thing, and bikes are USELESS for building muscle they are telling you loud and clear what they want you to do when youre in there. You look around, and there are machines everywhere. Ab machines (useless), Smith machines (almost useless), and on and on. Machines have their place from time to time for a little variety, but if youre really serious about building a ripped body, free weights are the way to go, hands down! So just by the mere lack of free weights and abundance of machines, they tell you who theyre catering to WOMEN. Cmon man. Get off the gazelle looking thing and do some hill sprints! [FJ: Specially women!]
6. The Color Purple
Again, the first thing you notice when you walk in is purple and gold everywhere. This place doesnt look like a normal gym, just by the color scheme. I know purple represents royalty, but I doubt thats the case here. Frankly, all that purple makes me sick to my stomach. I cant press hard on some Smith Machine squats (because they took the squat rack away) while looking and a purple thumbs up it just throws my vibe off.
7. The Price
Yeah, I said it. The price. In this case, you get what you pay for. If youre too lazy to go to a real gym and pay just a little bit more for real results, you deserve to be stuck in fitness hell (thats what this place reminds me of with all the colors and its weirdness). Man up, go to a real gym or invest in your own home gym equipment and get ripped. Clearly this place is for overweight women and pansy men. Oh, and by the way, cancelling that $10 is like trying to get rid of an obsessive ex. Ive had several clients complain that they couldnt cancel the payment, even after switching bank accounts! Thats what you get when you make a deal with the devil.
So I hope Ive put this matter to rest. If youre a guy attending this gym, question your manhood, then switch. If youre a woman and you love it, great. Although anyone looking to get some real results needs to find another place to get in shape. And just to wrap this up, heres what happens when a real lifter encounters Planet Fitness.
I love it! Thats what happens when you upset the Grunt God.
About the Author: Mitchell Graves is a personal trainer and author of the book Rapid Ripped Abs. Visit his site today at http://rapidrippedabs.com for more great fat burning and six pack tips. Getting a six pack has never been easier.
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7 Reasons Planet Fitness Sucks - Hardcore Training Solutions It was a sunny summer day in 2003 when I left work and walked to my local Planet Fitness.
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